Why am I doing this?..............
Phil & I got clocked up another 2 miles on Saturday making it an 18 mile run & wow was it hard!
Saturday morning we awoke at 8.30am for breakfast & then went back to sleep for a couple of hours while we let it digest a little. By time we awoke for the second time & made a move it was pouring outside & continued to do so until we reached the park. Now, I've said before, I do love to run in the rain, but not for 18 miles. I think that's just crazy. We had our rain coats with us anyway so we just hoped for the best & braved the day.
For our 18 miles we chose to do the Half Marathon course plus an extra 5 mile lap. We knew the course as we had done it last week, but I was worried about that extra lap. Would I be able to face those hills a third time round?!
We set off down Chesterfield Avenue and had soon made our way up onto the North Road. I was feeling good but I couldn't help feel like there was something different this week, something missing, and then it dawned on me, I was missing the crowds. Not just the crowds of spectators but crowds of runners. I enjoyed it so much the week before, the atmosphere, the feeling of running with 3399 fellow runners from my new secret world, that I was dreading running 18 miles, just Phil & myself (no offense to Phil, he did say he felt somewhat the same).
Though I pushed that thought as far back to my mind as I could. I could NOT start an 18 mile with negative thoughts!
For the first 12 miles or so we were on target for our 10 minute mile pace & then I don't know what happened but my body started to give up, or maybe it was mind that was giving up. Phil kept his pace, where as I lost mine & soon ended up further & further behind. I hated it. I couldn't believe we had another lap to go & I would have to go it alone, behind Phil. I just wanted to cry. What the hell was wrong with me?!
By mile 13.5 I eventually reached the car for the third & final time. Phil was already there stretching & re hydrating. I was in a mood with him for running off, though mostly in a mood with myself. I also re hydrated & stretched & we set off again for our final lap.
Phil kept with me for a while & then again I lost my pace & he ended up ahead of me. I couldn't do it alone anymore & shouted for him to wait. He did & we continued on together. He did run ahead of me again for a very short time but by about mile 15 he was feeling as knackered as me so we kept to the same pace for the rest of the run.
Our finish line was the Ordnance Survey Road, the same finish line as the week before, and the moment it was in sight I was delighted. I musted up what energy I had left to power my legs forward to the end. We did it. We reached 18 miles.
We had run our 18 miler in 3 hours & 10 minutes, which although is 10 minutes over target, & was just delighted that I had actually finished it. It was by far the hardest run I've ever ran & during it I did question myself a lot.... Why am I doing this? Why would anyone want to run 18 miles with no reward? Is all the hard work, the sore feet & the swollen knee's really worth it? But now that I'm feeling much more refreshed than I was feeling while contemplating these thoughts, I realise that of course it's worth it. I want to feel what I feel after every long run, proud of myself for what I have just accomplished.
I do think this is the hardest goal I have ever set out to achieve in my life, but I am hoping that the second I cross that finish line later this month, it will be the most rewarding goal.
2 comments:
Hi Sarah,
Just read through your blog from the run this last weekend. I don't know how the two of you do it but, keep going. Not long left now..
Well done..
ColiD.
Tapering time is nearly amongst us. Just a bit more to do until then. Keep going!
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